Sunday, May 24, 2009


The irony is.

I’m almost there. But not quite ready 

And I’ll probably never see you again

"Are u seeing anyone"    I ask casually 

while my left eye twitches rapidly


You squirm and I stare.  

And I feel my blood spin rapid

&  Your silence  says it all.

And the fact that I too have fucked another 

becomes somehow 

insignificant in the face 

of your infidelities.

That are not really infidelities  

Because  Technically  

We are no longer bound to 

one another.


But you know your heart 

belongs to Me  Still.   

So surely that means your 

legs and your perfect arms 

& your complex mind  

Until the day  

Your genitals are mine   

Again too

I start to rant a little.  

Something about moving to Mars 

& you sit there  

still and composed. 

Like the time 

I smashed beer  

on the floor 

& the dogs 

started chewing 

the glass.  


I cut up my feet 

You watched 

me weep

Felt like a mental housewife

Broom.            Sweep

 

To stay indoors and slit my wrists 

or go outside and smoke cigarettes

In these modern times 

you are more resilient. 


I romanticize.  

Fantasize You.

Romeo.   Me,    Juliet   

Fucked up. Cut up.  

Plagued Lovers

To have   ‘a good time’ 

 in the momen 

that’s where 

the denial & 

compartmentalizing  

Desiring & lying 

comes in. 

Fearless & stupid 

&irresponsible 

It set the tone 

in many ways 

for mixed up 

troubled up 

fucked up love.

And  if the day came 

that I got word 

that you marry 

a French girl 

& have French kids

Who purr of  airbrushed existence  

You know I’ll surely kill

her

& Can our lives 

be same again?    

Sane again 

or have we 

just turned each 

other insane 

with the pain

Shame.  

You think that 

I am gone  

You are gone

&  we are gone

But I don’t want 

You

To leave me   

alone 

forever

Because Its You

Who told 

Me

Truth is beauty 

& the truth is  ugly  

& the truth is 

baby

At least We’re not  

dull

 

1 comment:

Malloy said...

Thy all be so crazy when in this love.
This is the stuff yes this is the stuff.
that makes us break glass and seem so rough?
This craziness bubbly, beautiful and scrumptious.
The judges deny this?
They revel in a facade of fantasy and UN-sanity, that becomes a truth there completely real fantasy.
When in this fantasy of your own "normality" this be UN-sanity.
This be the point that we pass all judgements on all those that be crazy "not me no way that dude he/she there so fucking crazy"?
better be real and accepting of all new, and have no secrets from the shadow in you else when in the shadows where you have been hiding, happiness is as real as the ones you confide in, like the smile on all thy judges that are totally blinded, they come into town on brand new sneakers they ride in.
looking for knights in shining amour, who never come, they run and run away and keep on riding shouting "is there somewhere dark that we can hide in" and always be looking for that perfect lad, or is he the one that I already had?
In your mind it is talking
"this is the one who lives in my head, how can he match up to the ones that I had, this ones better he has three more than he had"
but when thy crazy and in love and all ye accepting!
This happiness.
This growth.
This greatness moves forth.
That smile in you "eye" that be the one, that tells you whats real and hugs you, and is totally fun, that be thy crazy, inside all us baby.