The irony is.
I’m almost there. But not quite ready
And I’ll probably never see you again
"Are u seeing anyone" I ask casually
while my left eye twitches rapidly
You squirm and I stare.
And I feel my blood spin rapid
& Your silence says it all.
And the fact that I too have fucked another
becomes somehow
insignificant in the face
of your infidelities.
That are not really infidelities
Because Technically
We are no longer bound to
one another.
But you know your heart
belongs to Me Still.
So surely that means your
legs and your perfect arms
& your complex mind
Until the day
Your genitals are mine
Again too
I start to rant a little.
Something about moving to Mars
& you sit there
still and composed.
Like the time
I smashed beer
on the floor
& the dogs
started chewing
the glass.
I cut up my feet
You watched
me weep
Felt like a mental housewife
Broom. Sweep
To stay indoors and slit my wrists
or go outside and smoke cigarettes
In these modern times
you are more resilient.
I romanticize.
Fantasize You.
Romeo. Me, Juliet
Fucked up. Cut up.
Plagued Lovers
To have ‘a good time’
in the momen
that’s where
the denial &
compartmentalizing
Desiring & lying
comes in.
Fearless & stupid
&irresponsible
It set the tone
in many ways
for mixed up
troubled up
fucked up love.
And if the day came
that I got word
that you marry
a French girl
& have French kids
Who purr of airbrushed existence
You know I’ll surely kill
her
& Can our lives
be same again?
Sane again
or have we
just turned each
other insane
with the pain
Shame.
You think that
I am gone &
You are gone,
& we are gone
But I don’t want
You
To leave me
alone
forever
Because Its You
Who told
Me
Truth is beauty
& the truth is ugly
& the truth is
baby
At least We’re not
dull
